THS versus NTHS

Dear Diary,

Remember how, back in 1989, I transferred from NTHS to THS and it was a big sordid deal because the schools are huge rivals? And remember how Brian and Doug made fun of me for leaving NTHS for TimberSLIME?

Well, this proves I made the right decision. (So what that it's, like, 20 years later. Back then we had GREASE. In 2010, they have a flash mob of "Don't Stop Believing." It translates to the same thing...

That's right, all you haters. Timberline is MASS cool!

Google/Blogspot is like mass cool or something...

So, it turns out you can check your stats and stuff on Blogspot.

I'm still about as tech savvy as I was in 1991 when I learned all the super cool fonts you could use on the Mac Classic II.

(I also learned there is a word for this. The word for the day is LUDDITE.)

Tonight I discovered something! Here's the big news:

I have a follower. WheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I am so totally, massively excited. Her blog is Cassarole and I wish I could give her a special prize or something!

It also turns out that there are some posts on 80s angst that have had more hits than others.

In remembrance of Casey Kasem and the Top Forty list which ruled many a weekend for me back in the late 80s and early 90s, I'm (a tad narcissistically) listing the three posts that have topped the 80s Angst stats over the past few years.

I think I'm actually listing these because I'm so bored with the Russell story. Bored bored bored.

AT number 3 on today's countdown:

This one explains the FF Poppy (Fat Farting Poppy) problem which necessitated transferring from one high school to another.

Number two on today's countdown chronicles a very serious disease: ILWB/D (In Love With Ben aka Doug) Syndrome.

Number ONE on today's countdown marks the return of 80s Angst. Apparently, it took me a year to work up the courage to post this poem because it. is. so. pathetic.

Yup. I just created my own countdown of my(1989)self. I'm getting a little big for my britches. Or my hair.

Premonitions and Stupid Movies...Yet ANOTHER annoying Russ entry

Despite the snooze-fest that I'm going to call the "Russell Period," I'm including this entry because it references "Three Men and a Baby" AND "The Man from Snowy River." CLASSIC 80s movies, especially for Mormons. Here we go:

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Diary Entry: Monday, July 10, 1989

Tina and her friend went swimming tonight, but I'd worked in the yard all day so I was a social dud and went to bed at 8pm. Good thing I did, cuz precisely at 8:04 pm, Tina's mom woke me up and goes - "Russ is here." I thought she was joking even though I had this feeling he'd come over. I couldn't handle not seeing him! Anyway, I go, "Oh, really?" like it doesn't matter.

Then, I remember the movie "Three Men and a Baby" is on so I go out into the living room. There's Russ. Ooooooooh boy. I have no make-up on, my hair is extremely flat and I'm in a tee-shirt that goes past my knees. But I act all non-chalant and say "hi" and everything.

Then Russ and I get into a big discussion about DRAMA - because he's actually into it! oh WOW. I've never met a guy so wonderful. And we're so perfect for each other.

Then he tells me that he's gong to rent "The Man from Snowy River" and do I want to come see it with him? I say "sure" and figure he means Tina too, so I tell him she's out with a friend - and he goes "Why should Tina come if she has a friend?"

I shouldn't say this, but it was TOTALLY RAD! He wanted to just be with me, right? Isn't that what that means?

So he leaves to get the movie and I go put on make-up because this is all very humiliating. And I'm all busy singing in Tina's room at the top of my voice and I haven't even changed yet. I haven't TOUCHED a curling iron to my hair. I walk out into the living room and Russ is back. SANTA VACA!

I go, "Where is everybody?" And he goes, "Tina's parents left to get Tina and her friend." And he wants to leave right then, but I don't feel good about just writing a note. So I stall and we keep watching "Three Men and a Baby" because there's supposed to be a ghost in it!

Tina gets home but I can tell Russ is anxious to leave and Tina is hungry so I ask Russ if he wants to just watch his movie there, at Tina's house so she can eat. And he says no, he's tired and wants to watch the movie at his house. I ask him if his parents and sister are there and he says yeah. I tell Tina to meet us there after she gets something to eat.

So we take off. Russ seems upset. I ask him what's wrong. He takes a while, but then he tells me he's annoyed with Tina. I think maybe he wanted her to come so I tell him I'll go. He says no. When we get to his house, his parents aren't home. I tell him we should go back to Tina's.

Instead, he takes me to the neighbor's house. We spend about a half hour over there. Russ plays with their little kids and I can't help thinking (again) how special he is. His parents show up at the neighbor's house but they start gabbing. Russ bugs them to go home so we can watch the movie, but they say they'll be home soon, so we go back to his place.

When we get to his house, he plays Nintendo for a little while and then the doorbell rings and it's Tina. I think, "Cool, she came to watch the movie" but I take another look at her face and I know I'm in trouble. Tina's parents didn't know where I was and Tina told them I was with Russ and they thought I was alone with him and so you can imagine what they thought. He's sixteen and I'm only fourteen but ALMOST fifteen. Still, I'm not allowed to date. Boy was Tina's mom angry! I felt awful!

When I left, Russ barely acknowledged it. Tina called him ask him why he was angry at her and he did not want to talk to me. I'm confused. I really care for Russ, so much it hurts! I know that is trite but it is true. I thought he wanted to spend time with me, but he was so rude.

It wouldn't surprise me if he was disappointed when he got to Tina's that I was the only one there. I think they had probably planned to hang out tonight but she stood him up to go swimming so then he was mad at her and thought he'd make her jealous by hanging out with me. What a JERK!

I guess I made a mess of everything but at least Tina really stuck up for me to her mom. I don't think it helped any. We stayed up all night talking and now it is 3:00am and so I have to go to sleep. I still can't figure out why I make such big stupid mistakes.

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What we can all see, what is so obvious to anyone not suffering from idiocy and hormones, is that Russ was a big POOTER HEAD. He was working the buddy system, in a not so charitable way.

Are you, like me, pleading: "PLEASE let the lightbulb that flickered ever so briefly stay ON. Let that tiny buzzing filament TAKE!"?

Ah, Rationality. My apologies to you. Your time was too short. And absurdly, predictably, doomed.

I know this will shock you, but I think there are at least two more entries about Russ.

The Church is *TRUE* in Yakima...

You know, it is very interesting to me how often, at the age of 15, I went to church in Yakima. Because I did not go to church often at all when I was at home (in Lacey). I think it is because the church is *more true/truer* in Yakima. That MUST be it. It couldn't possibly have been because of all the (Yakima) boys who were mass cool...

Diary Entry: MORE of the longest stupidest entry on the planet

Sunday, July 9th - 1989

I got up early to get ready for church today. Russ and his family were there, which made me happy. =) He was up at the sacrament table and I kept sneaking looks at him and he kept looking down at our pew, but I'm sure he was looking at Tina.

After sacrament was over, Russ came and sat behind us because that's where his family was. I could tell Russ was watching me and Daniel (Tina's step brother) goof around. Russ sat directly behind me. It made me nervous. But I was in a singing mood, and he was singing right behind me. It's like we were singing together. A duet. It was WONDERFUL. Our voices blend so well! *Sigh*

Even though we were in church, I did wonder, just once, what it would feel like if Russ kissed my collar bones. Just once, though. I swear! And then I repented, really fast.

After the meeting, the Bishop dismissed all the Primary kids first. So Russ leans forward and tells me I better go with them. I just laughed at him.

Then I had to go have an interview with the Bishop because we're all going on a temple trip. I told the Bishop I hadn't been to church for a long time and what had been going on with my ward back in Lacey. He gave me a few pointers, but he let me go to the temple!

It felt really good when the Bishop asked me if I was morally clean. I could look straight in his eyes and say "Yes, I am!" But afterward I felt like bawling because I am so wicked! I mean, just five seconds before I was dreaming about Russ kissing my collar bones!

I am going to try so hard to be good. AND lose 40 pounds. Russ is almost constantly on my mind. Almost everything makes me think of him. The more I get to know him, the more I like his wonderful personality.

Well, gotta scram!

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Note from 2010: *LOVE* that trying to be good, losing 40 pounds, and obsessing over a boy occupy the same thought/paragraph/brain matter.

The list of GOALS below is part of the same entry. This list is most DEFINITELY in order of importance.

The list of realistic, attainable, measurable - NOT TO MENTION character-building - goals continues:

*A note about Mormons: We often say "the church is true." What we actually mean is that we believe the gospel of Jesus Christ, as restored to the earth through the Prophet Joseph Smith, contains the fulness of truth (and all truth is part of one great whole). It's a little more complex than this, but that's the 5 cent version for you.

Are you, dear reader, sick of Russ yet? Because I am...

The Russ/Tina/Andrea saga continues...

Let me es-splain. No. Not enough time. Let me sum up.

Despite the apparent catharsis of writing a very very bad poem, my poor nearly fifteen-year-old self (yes, I'm still exploiting her) remains enthralled with Russ. If I remember correctly, the whole thing began because he had the "BEST VOICE" and because he could drive. This is creating some strain on my relationship with Tina, because she also likes Russ. And to put it in prospecting terms, Tina was there first.

I was tempted to skip all of the rest of the Russ saga because it is so boooooooorrrrrring to me (anything post NEVER poetry is anticlimactic at this point) but I'll stay chronological for now. Here we go.

Diary Entry: Sunday, July 9, 1989 (A date with Russ, Part I)

On Friday, Tina and me started getting ready at 5:30 to go on a date with Russ. He was taking us to a drive-in movie for the halibut, I guess.

[I love this explanation. Had to include it.]

I kept kinda quiet to let Tina and Russ talk. I could never tell if he was looking at me or not.

Russ came up with some bizarre idea to go to Safeway, of all places. The whole night was beautiful.

I mean, when we were back at Tina's, Russ and me would would laugh at the same time. And then when we got out of his truck at Safeway, there was a BMW right next to us, and I spazzed out, and so did he! We both LOVE BMWs. We're meant for each other. I know it.

[Yep. A insert a lovely illustration of the reason we are MFEO here.]

We both kept cracking jokes the whole time. Like, walking through the parking lot, we kept saying, "You're with me now, so try to act cool." It was sooo funny. I also teased him about how he was babysitting us.

Finally, I tried to take off and lose them. If he wants to be with Tina, that's just fine with me. But just when I think I've lost them, I see him out running up behind me. He puts his hands on my shoulders and turns me around.

Here we are in a supermarket and I suddenly realize that there's no other place I'd rather be. I didn't think of anything immoral or mushy. I just looked into those clear blue eyes and wondered if there was anyone more wonderful in the whole world.

He held my hand and then my wrist and tugged on my bracelet. He said, really LOUD, "Excuse me, miss, don't you know shoplifting is illegal?" I started laughing and told him it was mine and people were staring at us and he keeps apologizing. So he goes, "I'm sorry, can I do anything to you? I mean, for you?" We both kept laughing. I've never had so much fun in a supermarket.

[As far as I'm concerned, that's entirely enough about the stupid supermarket. Let's move on to the actual drive-in, shall we? Apparently, that event was important enough to merit an illustration. I'll put the actual entry in here, too.]

Okay, that's enough of this entry for now. It is SUPER long and I can barely stand it. How can you?

BTW: If you want to write Russ and complain about these entries, I'm pretty sure he's on Facebook. Just search for someone named Russ who has red hair and lived in Yakima in 1989.

It's so sad that I entirely missed that movie because all I could think about was Russ. I mean, I'm pretty sure it was a Patrick Swayze movie, so you know it had to be good.

I'll post more nonsense about Russ and the drive-in soon, I'm sure.

You waited 12 months for THIS tripe?!?!

For my four fans...

You know the last post of 2009? The one where I threatened to include the poem about RUSS and Tina, and the ulti-love-hypotnuse?

The poem is called (dramatic pause + dramatic sigh inserted here)... N-E-V-E-R (because it never should have happened).

In the immortal words of Barney/Neil Patrick Harris: "Wait for it..."

Never, Part I

Please note the very literary consideration, weighing "wave of emotions" against "my whole body of emotions." A critical distinction. How is a girl to decide?

We left this masterpiece at a crucial moment. Let us continue.

Never, Part II

I love the hope amidst the heartbreak! That what destroys you can make you a better person and a better friend. It is all so tragically purposeful!

We paused at the poem's denouement: "It hurts too much to know that I never had you... BUT" (Note the intermittent repetition! And the surprise: no use of the word, "BUT" here. Such command of the form!)

Never, Part III

Can you just feel the catharsis? The moment of clarity? Joy's triumphant return?

Never, Part IV

I know it is difficult to restrain yourself at this point, but please, NO CLAPPING.

We don't clap for poets. We nod. Nod slowly. Nod for each tear shed. Nod for each upward lift of your heart, beating beating.

Yes, you feel it.

If you know what OMD stands for, you might wanna read this blog...

Nope. OMD isn't the acronym for Oh My Dinosaur, though I'm getting to be one of those according to my nieces. (My nieces make fun of my pants. And my music. And my eyebrows).

If you're reading this, you probably know that OMD stands for Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark. And, at the age of 15, I thought that translated to playing one's cello with the lights off.

Fifteen is also the year I loved getting perms, clicking butane curling irons, and soaking my hair with sun-in, preferably all in the same day. Someday I'll post a pic of the bald spot that's rapidly forming on the crown of my head.

At fifteen, I was also in love with all five Stucki boys, my paperboy, George Michael, some guy named Russ who lived in Yakima, and random guys I met skiing. Really, truly, painfully in love with each one.

I wrote poems. Lots of poems. Poems that made me weep.

It was exhausting.

And it was recorded, in nauseating detail.

Yes, I'm back to share the sordid ramblings of teenage angst in its zenith: we're gonna freak out like it's 1989.

warning! this entry is rated PG-13 for language and excessive amounts of self-pity...July 1989

Ok, I'm about to make myself sound like a fool, but it doesn't matter.* Nothing matters anymore.

I can't like Russ. Period. It was a stupid idea in the first place. He's a nice...okay - WONDERFUL guy but he's over. In actuality, he never was. How can something be gone if it wasn't there in the first place?

I should've known Tina and Russ liked each other. I was utterly blind not to see it and totally arrogant to think the he could like me. All that time I was vocally gawking over Russ to Tina, she was liking him. Why the hell did she tell me she wanted to set me up with him, then? And, ultimately, what difference does it make? It's time I came down to earth. I just didn't know it would be such a hard landing.

You know, sometimes I could hate her. Sometimes, I think I could rip her hair out with my bare hands. It totally sucks to have a best friend who is pretty and beautiful and smart and a total flirt. She just crooks her little finger at guys and I swear they actually PANT at her.

But, I can't be angry with her. She can't help it. And she liked Russ long before I ever even knew his name. I should've known that if she talked about him all the time, she liked him for more than a friend. She's the one who used to talk about him constantly and acting as if she wanted to get us together was a ruse.

I know I promised I wasn't going to say this anymore, but this is a special circumstance: I don't give a sh*t. Not one puny sh*t. I mean, I don't even know him. Just because I've never met anyone I liked so much or felt like I knew them without knowing them doesn't mean I like him better than she does or anything.

It doesn't matter. You know, me and Tina haven't been doing well friendship wise and I know she wants me to leave. I will. I need to. If I stay here, no matter how hard I try, I'll resent them and be jealous.

So, I'm going to forget how I feel about Russ, like it was another stupid crush. But I know it WASN'T. Wait, I've got to stop thinking that! It was a stupid crush, except it totally wasn't. It could've been real, true love. But, Tina loves Russ and it can't matter. It won't matter. It already DOESN'T matter.

I can't hate my best friend for being stunningly beautiful and sweet and talented or stupid guys because that's all they care about. I'm going to pretend to be happy. But I'm sick of that. It's exhausting. Still, it's time to stop being a sniveling, selfish witch and just be happy for her. After all, she's SUPPOSED to be my best friend. She is so good to me and I'm returning it with evil.

Maybe I should pray. But I think it would help more to write a poem. Besides, I wrote sh*t in here, because right now my life is sh*t and my attitude is sh*t.

Sister Housekeeper says that angels record everything we do and say and report it back to God, and she said if we write it, they record it twice so it's twice as bad. Or something like that. So, maybe I should wait a little bit before trying to pray about it because maybe He is still mad and I should wait until He has time to cool down and for His ears to stop burning.

So, I'll write a poem instead. I'm going to call it NEVER.**

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A note from 2009.

*Interesting that 1989 me is just figuring out what a fool I'm making of myself. And, that 1989 me doesn't really care...A harbinger of things to come, obviously.

**I really need to work up the courage to post this really horrid poem in here. It is. just. so. pathetic.

and the number one reason of the top ten reasons for going to church is............. July 1989

I've never met anyone like Russ. I'm supposed to be thinking about Burgess. But Burgess won't sing, he hates skiing, and we're all wrong for each other.

Also, his religion hates Mormons. And Brian and Doug call him Ambergris. Which means whale puke, or something.

Not that I care. I'm so sure. They make up nicknames for anyone I like.

I don't know what to do.

Well, all three of us, Tina, me and Russ are going to the movies on Friday and I'll see him tomorrow at the Youth Activity. Man, I really can't think of a better reason to go to church than a super great guy like Russ! I've never known anyone so wonderful.

Caio!

here i go again...July 1989

Right now, I'm outside in Tina's front yard, trying desperately to get a tan. I actually hate laying out. I get all sweaty and red and lightheaded and it's uncomfortable to read because I'm not on my tummy in a big comfy bed and I'm not in a huge soft chair. I'm on a lawn chair that puts waffle patterns on my butt . All for a stupid tan that I won't get anyway because I just burn and go white again. sigh.

Yakima isn't a bad place at all - kinda fun. I guess any place besides Lacey is fun. For the last few days we've been fixing up these duplexes that Arnold (Tina's step dad) owns. Saturday me and Tina went shopping and then worked on the duplex.

Sunday we went to church, of course. I got up really early and took three hours to get ready just in case Russ was there and he wasn't. But Tina kept complaining that these guys were looking at me. RIGHT. Guys will check out anyone new. But my hair was really high that day, so maybe.

That's the first time I've been to church in three months. ON Friday there was a mother daughter outing up at this cool lodge in the mountains. I got to know a lot of the girls. Russ's sister, Heather, was there. She seemed kind of shy so me and Tina drew her out. She's totally sweet. She's only 13 but she acts much older, like us.

Anyway, we talked about a lot of things, including Russ, but SHE totally brought him up. We stayed up til about 2am, but they weren't in church.

Now for the big stuff!!!!!

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Yesterday was TOTALLY GREAT! We all got up in the morning and worked on the duplex. We came home around four and I slept until about 5:30pm. I got into the shower right after that, and I didn't know it but Tina called Russ. They were still on the phone when I got out of the shower.

It turned out that he found out our parents (actually Tina's) weren't home so he said he was coming to babysit us. Tina told him that was cold. I hope he was kidding! After all, I'm 15 and he's only 16 and I've dated guys 7 years older than him. Well, at least I've LIKED guys 7 years older than him. I guess that isn't actually dating... But he doesn't know that.

Anyway, when he finally got here me and Tina were ready to go. We all talked for a while. He didn't really seem to notice I was there. So he invited me and Tina to go swimming with him. We all took off in his truck, music up full blast, windows down, lots of laughter.

When we got to Russ's friends house, his friend was gone, so we waited for about 45 minutes. During that time, I think I had one of the most interesting conversations of my life. We were all sitting there, Russ at the wheel, Tina in the middle and me on the other end. Mostly we listened to music. VERY interesting music. Russ finally opened up and sang for us.

HE HAS THE

BEST VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm totally in love. I swear by all that's holy. He can SING and he DRIVES and he SKIIS. And he hates moguls TOO. The only thing I can find wrong with him is he doesn't like Depeche Mode and Alphaville, the booger. But, what can I say. He is PERFECT for me.

I've never been so infatuated. He plays about 20 instruments. He's FUNNY. He's SWEET. And he loves music as much or more than I do. He's in a band and he believes in democracy. (That's a joke). His favorite song is "Who do you give your love to?" I LOVE that song!!!!

And, he goes to our church. He's a good member but he's not all church and Molly Mormon or Peter Priesthood type.

He's everything I ever dreamed of. I bet he's taken.

After we waited for a while, we went to the reservation and he bought fireworks. He's so cool.

Ok, I'm burning. I'll write more later. Ciao!