Last night, me and Charles went to Rob's house and soooooooooooo much happened!
We (Rob and me) haven't seen each other for a long time, like four weeks or something. Ever since we met, me and Rob have been really close. It was like, an automatic reaction.
He has these light blue eyes and curly brown hair that hangs in his face and he's just really sweet to me and sincere and affectionate.
So, when we saw each other after that long, we couldn't really be separated. I talked to him about his girlfriend and I listened a lot.
M. was on the pone with Charles and she wuz telling him that me and Rob were going out, just to sike him. Which really ticked me off pretty bad cuz I don't want anyone messing with Charles.
Well, I thought Rob wuz just being a goof when he put is arms around me and held me a lot and kissed my hand and stuff. I thought he was being cute, cuz Charles says Rob is a player.
All night we talked and he showed me how to skateboard. I have the bruises to prove it!
All this tim, M. was asking Charles all these squestions about whether he liked me or not an dhe admitted that he LOVED me. Well, Rob is his best friend.
By this time - well let's just say I'm crazy about Rob - even if my age range for dating a guy goes from 17 - 25, and he's 13. Geez! I can't believe this. And he SKIIS. Yay!
Well, from here it gets confusing. Rob is telling me about this girl he likes a lot, and I'm trying to guess who it is so I can help him date her. Then he starts talking to Charles about something they won't let me hear, and it turns out that Rob genuinely likes me as much as Charles, who claims he loves me.
Rob tells Charles to find someone else because what we have is going to last forever. But, uh, what about his girlfriend? And, I'm so crazy about Rob that it's sick but I'm so close to Charles that everything turned upside down cuz Charles keeps saying that he loves me but I think he's always just loved me as a sister.
And when I see Matt at school, I still think he is so cute, but he's Emily's, and I'm supposed to go out with Matt's best friend. What is it with best friends liking the same people? It's stupid. And, I heart Rob! Whoah!
When everyone finally go off the phone we played strip poker, Mormon style, and I lost. Strip poker Mormon style is earrings, socks, shoes, sweaters, stuff like that. So, it's not like I did anything naughty.
But, I had so much fun last night and it is so confusing. When we got back to M.'s house, Charles called and spilled his guts to me about how he loves me. I told him we should wait on it because what we have is SO special.
I really do love Rob. Now I know what they mean by "crazy in love!"
love and medication ...04.17.1989
It's tough right now being M.'s friend because she's off her meds. I hope this changes soon. Sometimes we have a hard time relating except we're so much alike that we almost know each other's thoughts.Let's get on with what's really bothering me.
Last night I spent the night at M's. She's in love MASS with Ben. Isn't that hilarious?
I'm really glad I'm finally over him. I know I've said that before, but it's true. Anyway, she wanted me to call Ben and ask him to take her cruzing. Well, I wanted to see R. really bad cuz we haven't hung out since before Christmas. He's been calling me and he wuz going to come over to M.'s house, which would be great becuz her Mom leaves us alone and mine are nosy.
But, I try to be a good friend, so I called Ben and he said sure. Ben took us cruzing downtown and made fun of the guys sitting on their neon lowrider trucks with their long permed hair. Ben thinks that style is dorky. So does Juan.
I sat behind Ben in the back seat but, like, kitty corner. So I could see him and M. couldn't and so M. was mad. Juan sat in the front seat because he refused to sit by M. and because he called shotgun before anyone else. Which was not very gentlemanly, but who gives? So, after a while, M. asked if we could stop cuz she wanted to get something to eat at the mini mart. She bought Ho Hos.
After M. bought the Ho Hos I still didn't move over. I think that wuz supposed to be my cue to change seats, but it wuz really fun hanging out with Ben again and he makes me laugh til stuff squirts out my nose. I promise I don't like him anymore, though!
So, M. was still sitting right behind Ben who was teasing me but not really paying attention to her, but then he busted on her. He's like that, he just jokes around a lot.
So, M. reached around his head and smashed the Ho Hos into his face and he couldn't see the road. He had Ho Ho in his hair and hanging from his eyelashes and all up his nostrils while M. laughed like a total loon.
Man, he was P.O.ed! I've actually never seen Ben mad. And, he doesn't even get red after doing sports (I totally turn all red when I work out). So he turned red and I was like, OH CRAP! I just faced forward. Because I think he was only hanging out with us because I asked him to.
I didn't say anything and Juan didn't say anything and Ben just sat there, breathing. I watched his chest go up and down. M. sort of took a deep breath because I think she was out of air, laughing that hard.
That little car got really quiet. Well, as quiet as it can be. It's a really old car. I don't know what kind it is, but it it gray and small and it rattles all the time, and it reminds me of a lunch box.
I think I'm going to start crushing up meds for M. and putting them in her pop. Or her Ho Hos.
these five words i swear to you 04.02.1989
"I'll be there for you" by Bon Jovi is playing on the stereo. (KUBE, my favorite station). I've been cleaning my room cuz it looked like a nuclear war testing zone. I love this song so much. It's so sweet!
Chorus:
I'll be there for you. These five words I swear to you. When you breathe I wanna be the air for you. I'll be there for you. I'd live and I'd die for you, Steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do. I'll be there for you.
Sometimes I go over to Anna's and we watch Mtv and I see Jon Bon Jovi singing his guts out and I pretend he's singing just to me. Or that someone like him is singing to me. Or maybe some guy out there is at least listening to him sing the song and thinking of me. Or something.
You know, if he didn't use the contraction, it would be six words and it would ruin the chorus. "These six words I swear to you" just doesn't sound the same. Thank goodness for the apostrophe!
I was supposed to go out with my friends this weekend, but it didn't work out. They're setting me up with this guy who is the president of our class. And he has a Beamer. He's very smart and good looking. It's a little intimidating. Oh, and he's Matt's best friend, so we could double with u-know-who.
Something else funny about that song. If someone were the air for me when I was breathing, would I actually be breathing carbon dioxide and like, die because it would be like breathing in fumes? It sounds romantic, like suicide because of a broken heart, but it's probably just messy. Or stinky. Or uncomfortable. Like love.
It's just as well going out this weekend didn't work out. I could've fallen in love for real and then I would've died of a broken heart, or poisoning.
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